The Razzles vs. the lollipop

I don’t have the biggest sweet tooth. I crave sweets at specific times but I’m more likely to want something cheesy. But I figured candy was an appropriate metaphor for something so sweet and yet so damaging.

Let’s start with the most recent boy. The one who is responsible for this Alanis Morissette-esque mess here. He is a lollipop. He is something that will break if you bite it too soon and lasts for a long time if you take it slowly. The flavour lasts for a while, the colour stains your tongue and lips for hours and you can’t really eat lollipops one after another. They’re not exactly made for mindless consumption. And after you finish your lollipop, you have a tangible, permanent reminder of it – the stick. Lollipops are meant to last and so is he.

About two weeks ago, I decided that it would be a good idea to see someone else. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone, right? Not exactly. So this guy – really nice, really chill, decent taste in music, plays the guitar – did I mention he’s really nice? And initially, some sort of spark was there. But it was pretty clear that he was feeling it more than I was and rather than be an awful human, I decided to end it before things escalated and he ended up with my initial tattooed on his ass.

Here’s the thing – right now, the last thing I need is a boyfriend. I need Razzles. You know – first, it’s candy, then it’s gum? And the flavour lasts approximately two minutes and if you’re like a certain friend of mine, you pitch the spent wad onto the empty packet in an artistic pattern (Lys I love you but that was a very strange moment in our friendship).I need something that I can chew up and spit out when the flavour is gone. In that guy’s opinion, I probably did Razzle him. But he was trying to be a lollipop for me.

I need pack after pack of Razzles before my lollipop comes back.


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