Is it strange to miss someone you’ve never known? Because I do. I do all the time.
I think about who you could have been and what you would have looked like and what your voice would have sounded like. I wonder if you would have held my hair wrapped around the starfish of your hand. Would you have been mellow? Energetic? Smart? Would you speak more than one language? Would I have resented you for coming before I was ready? Would I still have loved you anyway? Because now, looking back, I wasn’t ready and I’m still mentally not ready. There’s something terrifying about having a future decided for you at the age of 23 and that was enough to make me want you to stay away.
I didn’t even miss you until I knew you would never be here and I would never get to meet you. And it’s been a long year of missing you, thinking about you, regretting losing you before we even got the chance to be together. I can’t do or say anything to bring you back, because, let’s face it, you were never really mine to claim in the first place.
Just know that you are missed, you are loved and I know that someday, I may be lucky enough to finally meet you face to face.